The Ego is your enemy, right?! Well, not according to Human Design. Actually, this system is not about right or wrong at all. It’s just showing you the dynamics of how we’re all designed to live out our true nature and the potential to share our uniqueness with the world. If you’ve discovered the spiritual & psychological realm like me, you probably know that in many spiritual teachings the Ego is often referred to as something “bad” or “that has to die”. In Human Design the Ego represents a motor center with a specific purpose, without it being “wrong”. Do these “Ego’s” represent the same? Are you allowed to have one now? Or is the Ego your true enemy? What’s the difference and how can you embrace your Ego instead of burning it to the ground? Let’s dive in 💦
The “bad” Ego
When I Googled the word ‘ego’, the first things coming up other than its meaning have to do with ‘death’, ‘depletion’ and ‘it being the enemy’. Now, I’m not sure about Google’s algorhytmn but anyway I find it interesting that these words come up. The fact that the Ego is referred to as something that has to be destroyed both fascinates and worries me at the same time. I mean, I’ve come to understand that trying to destroy something is often no solution on the long run. It’s not sustainable. You cannot solve war with more war. So “destroying or killing the ego” sounds a bit counterintuitive if you ask me.
What do these teachings or people refer to when they talk about Ego? I’m not familiar with ALL spiritual teachings, so I can’t generalize here. What I do know is that mainly Ego is something that is described as your monkey mind, your protection shield or the mask(s) you wear. It’s often referred to as the part of you that lives in fear and wants to control life. So far I can relate. But where it did get ‘icky’ to me was when I saw people mentioning every “negative” emotion or perception or judgment as it being “the Ego”. And that they had to transcend it. At first I bought it and believed I had to tame my Ego, be as selfless as possible and judge myself for not having slayed my demons yet. But when I finally started to accept that I’m human (yup, still no superhero 🦸♀️) and contemplated why I should want to slay or destroy parts of me, I got curious.
The Ego (Heart Center) in Human Design
When I met Human Design and had my first reading, I discovered I had a heavily defined Heart Center which is also referred to as the Ego. In total the 6 channels in my design represent my life force energy and how it flows. 3 of them are coming from the Ego Center, so you could say it’s an important one in my energy. This Center is a motor Center and has to do with willpower, bargains, value and the material plane. It’s healthy for people with defined Ego’s to make promises and take on responsibilities (guided by their authority), they have a consistent way of dealing with it. Usually they have a good sense of (self)worth and own their value. It is the bedrock of the tribe (except for channel 25-51, which is individual) and concerned with its survival through support, division & protection of resources. Even though the Ego is a motor center that produces energy, its mechanism is different than for example that of the Sacral. The Ego needs a lot of rest to literally protect its Heart. ❤️ The interesting part is that the qualities of the Ego are not meant for itself, but for the benefit of the tribe. It’s about using its willpower and drive to support others. My success = you success kinda vibe and high integrity.
During that first reading my whole image of “Ego” shifted. I felt a HUGE permission slip to embrace my Ego power and energy. It was such a relief to see and hear a confirmation of what I was feeling inside of me, like a reminder of what I already knew deep down to be true. I guess we all need that every now and then. What happens on an energetic level is that others feel my Ego energy and amplify it, are intimidated by it or get defensive (no one’s to blame here, this is just what happens). In turn I would feel their emotional state with my Undefined Solar Plexus and not upset then in any way. And especially as a woman, it felt like a normal thing to do. As we are kind of expected to be nice, sweet and easy going ya know 🤗. It’s so interesting how societal norms condition us into behaving the same even though it doesn’t feel right.
Befriending your Ego
I took on that role quite perfectly, until I couldn’t. I tried to deny a part of me to keep the peace. Which was obviously doomed to take its toll at some point. What can happen with energy that’s not released in a healthy way is either implode or explode. In my case I would mostly implode with strangers and explode within my family. I often refer to it as pushing a ball under water; the deeper you hold it down, the further it flies up in the air ones released. Also I would often push myself (or others for that matter 😉) beyond my limits, not honouring the need for rest. Understanding these mechanisms helped me a lot to embracing my Ego energy again and giving it more space to express every single day. One step at a time. The conditioning is quite strong, so it takes time to integrate.
So rather than seeing the Ego as something that I have to get rid of, I’m befriending it. It’s part of me and I don’t have to be ashamed of it. Owning your own worth and willpower and knowing you’re enough are beautiful things when expressed in a healthy way. Having the qualities of the Heart Center like being brave, having stamina, the guts and being in control and reliable are generally being perceived as admirable and something to strive for. And yet around 65% of people have an Undefined Ego. So they all feel they have to have these qualities, feel unworthy if they don’t and are constantly trying to prove themselves. Perhaps that’s where the Ego got its bad rep, who knows. It also feels quite contradictory because while society puts Ego qualities on a pedestal, we shouldn’t express it and be too “full of ourselves”. Especially here in the Netherlands it’s quite culturally accepted to “be normal and not stand out”.
But owning your value and worth as a human being does not mean you’re better than someone else. I just means you remember the truth of who you are. I guess most of it comes down to reframing our definition of Ego while at the same time accepting that not everyone has a defined Ego.
Thanks for reading! If you have an experience or perspective you’d like to share about the Ego, feel free to comment below.
Enjoy the ride! 🎢
Love, C. ❤️
Wanna deep dive into this topic some more?
If you’re looking for some support in befriending your Ego (defined or not), I’m your girl. Expect some confrontation and truth without the fluff, I’m not here to make your life easier or “better”. What makes my heart sing is you coming back to your center, trusting your inner guru and sharing your uniqueness with the world. I’m committed to bringing you back to your true nature and self through both empowerment and support. If you’d like to dive deeper into your blueprint, understanding your unique energy dynamics and discover the instruction manual for how to live as yourself you can book a 1:1 session with me below. Or if you feel like diving into the 9 Centers of the Bodygraph some more, you can purchase the guide I created that explains the energy mechanics and how they play out in your own life.