Let’s talk about the 5th line baby! I’ve noticed how many insights come through these days (61-24 in the transits perhaps?). Especially after conversations I have with others, studying or sessions with clients. With my completely open Head I find it very helpful to journal and write about these insights and my experiences. It’s nice to get things out of my head in a literal sense. I’ve also found how helpful it can be to learn from others lived experience when it comes to Human Design. I mean it’s nice to know more, but it only truly comes alive through living it. So these blogposts will be more of mixture of knowledge plus my own experience instead of just tips & tricks. In this one I’ll share about my experience being a 5th line personality combined with other parts of my design. Enjoy the ride 🎢
Projections, projections, projections
Oh boy the projection field. When I first learned that I was a 5th line personality, I couldn’t really grasp it. Yeah sure I knew some keynotes (Heretic for example 😈 ) and I knew it had to deal with projections, but what did that actually mean? I read my role was to be practical and be a hero in some way. But how does it play out in my life? To start, lemme give you a little intro on Profile in Human Design.
I’ve explained Type & Strategy before in one of my first blogs. When you look at Type as the role you play in this life, your Profile is the character of that role. Life is the play, Type is the role and Profile is the costume. So for instance, if your role is being a Baker (Type) in a play, then your Profile is showing you what kind of Baker you are. Profile is based on the 6 lines of the Hexagrams of the I-Ching. We all have a conscious and an unconscious line and in total there are 12 different Profile combinations. So there is always one part of it you’ll be more aware of than the other. Plus in most cases they feel like a contradiction within yourself, but that’s another story. In the example chart below you can see the Profile being a 3/5 (Martyr/Heretic). Where does it come from you might think? It’s derived from the numbers after the dot (.) in the top 2 squares on the side of the chart. So in this example you see 15.3 and 25.5. The numbers after the dot are what we call a line in Human Design (that rhymes hehe 🤓 ). So when you look at your own chart, you can see why your Profile says 1/3 or 2/4 etc.
(I’m not going to dive deeper into the lines or Profiles in this post, but here’s a nice overview of both).
Back to the 5th line. My Profile is a 5/2, so my conscious line is the 5. The Heretic, the hero, the savior, the fixer and the one who’s here to universalize and to do that works best with strangers. As a 5th line, I’m in a constant projection field because people project things onto me but I could also be projecting things outward. People can’t really see what’s behind the projection. I experience both in my life. How it plays out for me is that others often see me as someone who can help them or fix their problems. To act as a savior. They drop their problems with me. Which is somehow part of me, wanting to help and offer solutions. I love it. But the fuck up is that I’ve also behaved like if I was able to help EVERYONE with EVERYTHING my whole life. So I kinda also made them believe I could. I projected outward that I could help and fix and commit my energy to whatever everyone around me needed. And off course as that 5th line I was worried about my reputation and getting burned at the stake if I didn’t live up to the projection. Recipe for disaster 💥
I took the world on my shoulders
Since everything in design is connected and I’m not JUST a 5th line, there are so many other parts that play a role. Besides being a 5ht line, I’m an MG with a completely open Head center, and an undefined Ajna, Root and Solar Plexus. So in the not-self expression this mixes up to me using all my energy hurrying (Root) to fix every else’s problems/questions (Head), be certain (Ajna) about my solutions/answers to meet others expectations and keep them happy (Solar Plexus). With my defined Heart I used my willpower to push through all of that. Which obviously resulted in burning myself out. As most of what I was doing was all based on mental decision making instead of listening to my gut (sacral response). I believed and acted as if every problem was mind to fix. And I carried the world on my shoulders, or at least it felt like I had to. It kept me kinda hostage in my own victimhood mentality of “everybody needs me” and “they won’t survive without my help”. 😳
So it turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy pretty quickly. Me wanting to help and save, others expecting met to and me wanting to live up to this expectation.
Not here to save you
Off course I couldn’t see any of this at the time. I wasn’t aware of the dynamics and how it wasn’t a sustainable or loving way to live. My body literally had to scream for me to listen and surrender. My defined Heart kept on pushing and proving itself even though my body clearly signalled “NO” and “STOP” in so many ways. Panic attacks and an emotional breakdown (couldn’t stop crying for days) finally made me listen. I couldn’t ignore the signs any longer and was brought to my knees. In hindsight it was the best thing that happend to me (and the only necessary one for that matter). But during those days I felt like the biggest loser and failure in the world. I felt ashamed and my ego was crushed. I had to admit that I wasn’t able to DO IT ALL. I had to admit that I was limited. I had to admit I couldn’t fix and save all problems of those around me. Meh…
Fast forwarding three years, I can see the lessons I had to learn. I’m not saying it’s been “my biggest gift” because being confronted with my own inner wounds is no fun. I’m not gonna lie. It’s been though and still is sometimes. But when I could finally truly FEEL (instead of mentally understanding it) that not every problem is mine to fix I was so relieved. It was like my body acknowledged that the heavy weight I carried on my shoulders wasn’t mine to carry. It could feel what relaxation was for the first time in my life.
When I was brought to my knees in 2018, I was leading a team at work. I honestly believed everything would collapse without me being there. I was convinced they couldn’t survive without my help. I thought they were dependent on me to do their job. Guess what happened when I was recovering at home for almost 2 months? Things didn’t collapse, my team survived and they were not dependent on me to do their job. When my former boss came to visit me at home, she told me how these were the fruits of how I had been training my team while I was there. To make sure they were super capable themselves and didn’t need me or anyone else to save them. I empowered them to trust themselves. This touched me so very deeply.
While I’m writing this it feels like this was obviously one of the biggest lessons I had to learn as 5th line. That not every problem is mine to fix. That I’m not here to save you. But to help you save yourself instead. By showing you you don’t need to be saved. You just need to trust yourself.
Wanna dive into your own design?
There’s a lot to learn about your design and because we’re so unique, every chart is different. How you experience your Profile might be completely different than how someone else does. The parts of your design are all linked and nothing stands on its own. If you feel like you want to look at how your Profile for example plays out for you specifically, then a 1:1 session or my newest HD Inner Guru Guide would be a great option. Do you feel this resonates? Do you feel the call? 📞